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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26097328">tell me love, how is that just?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekeybladeschosen/pseuds/thekeybladeschosen'>thekeybladeschosen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AU, Angst, Gen, I really am, M/M, Oop, Soulmate AU, akeshu - Freeform, anyway uHHHHH, based on the deadline ending bc. pain., chapter 2 is just an alternate way to end it, cool cool cool, hate that for me, how many times can i tag one gd ship, i have a problem and wrote this last bit super fast, i just. shuake brainrot, i love crying i guess and boy do i cry about goro akechi, loving shuake is just suffering sometimes, okay i lied now there's a chapter for each ending lmao, screw u and ur 20 names joker!!!!, shuake, soul marks, the p5 anime really said i had no rights specifically when they named him ren, uhhhhhh i am sorry, we call him akira here but JUST BECAUSE</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:07:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,697</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26097328</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekeybladeschosen/pseuds/thekeybladeschosen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>soulmate au. p5/p5r spoilers.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>147</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>stupid lil oneshot where i take the soulmate au and i make it my own kinda? someone may have done this base idea before already but soulmate aus aint original so who cares. ya feel?</p><p>anyway its my stupid au fic and therefore i can make canon my bitch and change the timeline and little details, my house now motherfucker i make the rules.</p><p>this was all written on my phone while i cry about akechi like I've been doing for two years. most of my writing is very rambly and all over the place. i do it for myself and at this point if i post something its just for kicks not for like. serious critique or bc i expect it to do well lmfao but if you read this have fun fam.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Goro Akechi was 17 when his soulmark appeared.</p><p>Nearly the entire population had a soulmark.<br/>
You got a set, matching with the one person who's soul was most compatible with your own. Your "perfect other half". Romance at its finest and purest form.</p><p>50% of soulmarks were actually platonic, but don't tell people, especially the media, and their fixation with romance that little detail.</p><p>Although perhaps the teen detective was just bitter.<br/>
Romance and soulmarks had never made any positive impacts on his own life, and he didn't set much store by the idea of them at all. </p><p>Facts remained though that your soulmark generally appeared anywhere from six months to a year before you're destined to find that person, that other half. One person would get the first words their soulmate would say to them, while the second would have the last ones.<br/>
Not every soulmark would end in happiness, as some people could have multiple marks, refuse to consider their soulmate at all, or in less frequent occasions, have theirs change entirely.</p><p>Goro wasn't sure how to feel about his, but he surely hoped they were the first words.</p><p>His soulmate must be very passionate about what they believe in, that's all. Maybe they'd meet in a debate, or working some kind of case...perhaps they were a prodigy too, much like him. Someone on his level did sound like a nice break from the rest of the people in the world. </p><p>Someone who would understand him. The idea was somewhat...soothing.</p><p>"This isn't trivial!" shone up from his wrist in a somewhat messy script.</p><p>Well.<br/>
This will be interesting, he thought.</p><p>Guess I'll wait and see. </p><p> </p><p>Akira Kurusu's life had changed when he'd been arrested.</p><p>The teen wasn't usually up for "delinquent" activities, no matter what the government thought, but it couldn't be helped. There was no way he'd let that man hurt that woman if he could stop it!</p><p>But now here he was, in Cafe Leblanc, an outcast. Sent away to rehabilitate and make sure to not toe the line and cause any other "problems".</p><p>His parents had been mortified, his old friends dropped him, the school kicked him out.<br/>
Even his new caretaker, Sojiro, didn't want him here either. The people on the street avoided him. Shujin wasn't much happier to have him than his old school and treated him like garbage, like they were waiting for him to screw up so they could be rid of him.</p><p>It was a very lonely life.</p><p>However, his soulmark had appeared recently, and based on the...unique words reflected there, it seemed to be shaping up to change soon.</p><p>"Did I hear something about delicious pancakes?"</p><p>They had to be first words. How weird was that, though? How could that possibly be the first thing a soulmate would say? But it'd only be stranger if they were the final ones, after a long and happy life, so his soulmate must have the last words on their end.</p><p>Only logical explanation.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe they'd be a customer? Did Sojiro serve pancakes here? He'd have to ask, and risk annoying his guardian. Maybe they'd meet randomly? Who could say.</p><p>It was sure to be interesting, he thought to himself, feeling a little less lonely and frightened as he went to bed that night.</p><p> </p><p>Goro and Akira first see each other at the tv station, where the ace detective is discussing the Phantom Thieves.</p><p>Akira is intrigued by the teenage detective with his strong sense of justice, even though he seems pretty deadset against him, his friends, and their mission.<br/>
Well. Who doesn't like a challenge?<br/>
Akira wouldn't let anyone harm his friends, who he's grown to love in the short timespan he's known them, and he hopes Akechi can come around. His motives seem similar to their own, after all. 
The detective is compelling, and Akira wants him to see their side.</p><p>The hosts go to have him speak, but before he can, Ryuji cuts across him loudly, accusing Akechi who doesn't seem fazed at all, and he supposes it's for the best. Extra attention here isn't necessarily something he wants or needs. Leading the thieves is already more trouble than he should've jumped into, technically speaking, but it felt so good to be accepted and needed that he'd yet to regret it. </p><p>Akechi seems to want to speak to them immediately after, his red eyes boring into Akira's thoughtfully, like he knows something they don't. 
As he meanders over, he gets pulled aside by crew members instead, and Ryuji seems eager to get out of the studio.</p><p>The Phantom Thieves are down in a hallway, discussing things that are mundane, when Morgana asks about the pancake looking building right before Akechi rounds the corner.</p><p>As the detective smiles at him kindly, Akira feels a sense of foreboding he can't quite understand in the moment. Like waiting for a drop you're unprepared for on a pitch black rollercoaster. </p><p>"Did I hear something about delicious pancakes?"<br/>
It could technically be posed to the group at large, but those intelligent red eyes are locked on him, and Akira swallows hard around a sudden lump in his throat.</p><p>The one who wants to put an end to them, to see them fall, is his soulmate.
His soulmate who can understand Morgana, though those full implications won't sink in til later in his flustered mind. </p><p>To borrow a word from Ryuji:</p><p> <i> shit.</i> </p><p> </p><p>Goro isn't stupid. Quite the opposite, in fact, and a proud fact of his life is that his ability to sense bullshit is quite strong.</p><p>Shido is full of shit, as are most like him, and all his cronies. Okumura was full of shit. The bastards walking around preying on innocents without ever getting what they deserve are the worst of them.</p><p>The world at large is full of shit. All these people do selfish things, commit terrible acts, and they don't care what happens as a result of their cruelty. 

Justice isn't swift enough for the lot of them. Justice isn't quick enough. But he is.</p><p>The Phantom Thieves aren't like that, though.<br/>
They genuinely want to help people.<br/>
Its...nice. To know that in another life he would've wanted to be their friend for real, their teammate, especially Akira Kurusu's...
Sadder to think that if he'd met them sooner, maybe he wouldn't be in the position he's in currently...</p><p>because the leader, Joker himself, is his soulmate.</p><p>Goro knows this. He hasn't confirmed it by the words but something in his heart, his very being, screams it. Ever since that day in the tv station, he's felt a magnetic pull to the dark haired boy who leads the Thieves.<br/>
Something about the two of them seems right. It feels natural. </p><p>Originally the plan had been to lie his way into friendship, but its all fucking twisted now. </p><p>Because when its just the two of them he genuinely means the things he says to the quiet boy he's with, who seems to come alive around him and speak up more than he does elsewhere. Akira Kurusu is not without his own masks, but he seems to drop nearly all pretense with Goro. </p><p> </p><p>They're two peas in a pod, two sides of one coin. They'd have connecting red strings, if such a thing existed. Their souls are in tune.</p><p>Surely they share soulmarks. It's like... he gets it now. He understands the appeal. Desire and love and a dream of a romantic idealistic ending. </p><p>Such feelings make him feel ill, and overjoyed, and fill him with the deepest pit of soulcrushing despair all at once.</p><p>Red eyes downcast, he stares at the words on his wrist, always tucked out of sight of others, most especially Kurusu, and wants to break down into tears. </p><p>Goro Akechi is in love with Akira Kurusu, despite everything, and it won't do him any good.</p><p>Akira paces the attic room.</p><p>He can't confide the way he feels to any of his friends, or even tell them that Akechi is his soulmate. They'd question his judgement, his willingness to befriend the person they know is their enemy.</p><p>It's such a mess. </p><p>Morgana knows something is wrong, but for once he doesn't seem to feel the need to question it. The cat just watches him pace, quiet and thoughtful.</p><p>They hang out often, Akechi and Akira. Akira loves these outings, their little games.</p><p>The detective prince has some deep sadness, he can tell. He keeps his secrets for the most part, hides behind walls he's clearly built to keep the world out, but Akira feels like he knows him as well as he knows himself.<br/>
He can see through the cracks in the armor, the boy behind the mask of Robin Hood, or the Detective Prince.<br/>
Akechi is an open book in his eyes.</p><p>They've made promises. They're rivals. They're friends. They're soulmates.</p><p>Goro Akechi isn't everything he claims to be. Akira knows this, and that's what breaks his heart all the more, is that he knows that and loves his soulmate regardless, even though its doomed.</p><p>Their time has to be running out.</p><p> </p><p>Goro sighs.<br/>
It's nearly time.</p><p>He has to kill him soon and end this all, and he dreads it.<br/>
It's November 19th.</p><p>Picking up his phone, he calls Akira.<br/>
"Would you mind joining me on an outing today? I want a distraction before we have to finish this."<br/>
The double edge to his words goes unheard or perhaps unnoticed entirely.</p><p>Akira agrees, and Goro can nearly hear the smile in his answer.</p><p> </p><p>They meet at the aquarium where they had their first "date".</p><p>Goro hadn't called it that at the time, though he'd wanted to. June seems so long ago now, and he wishes time had slowed down, or that he'd used it differently. Its pointless to hope, his path had been decided long ago, but he wishes he'd met the Thief sooner regardless. Time is cruel. </p><p>Hardly anyone is here in the aquarium tonight, a fact he's grateful for. No worries about his public image or the persona he has to maintain around others in fear of slipping up and being cast away again.</p><p>Akira is looking at him with dark gray eyes full of questions, and Goro outstretches a glove clad hand, swallowing down his fear.</p><p>"I don't hate you. Not really." He whispers, like a peace offering. </p><p>Akira just smiles in response, the tiniest upturn of his lips, and grasps the offered hand in his own.</p><p>"I know." he whispers back, and Goro can't take it, he has to know. He needs this, the concrete confirmation of what he already knows. He doesn't want to wait until it's too late.</p><p>"What does your soulmark say?"</p><p>Akira blinks behind his (fake) glasses, then laughs, his interlocked fingers tightening reassuringly against his hand.<br/>
"Rather personal question, hm?" His deep voice teases. </p><p>Goro tenses, ready to withdraw his hand and say forget it, fuck you, I'm killing you soon anyway, even if it is at his command, and it doesn't matter but oh my god it really does but its <i> FINE! </i> I can live not knowing, or you'll confirm it tomorrow anyway, and-</p><p>then Akira uses his free hand to roll up his sleeve and show Goro the words branded there.</p><p>They stare down together, and Goro feels his brain just halt before he snorts. He'd forgotten those were the specific first words he'd said, only a few months before but what felt like so long ago now.</p><p>The sound makes Akira laugh, even though it's so undignified, really, and not fitting the image Goro's carefully crafted in public.<br/>
But then again neither does the hand holding and besides, hardly anyone is here currently anyway.</p><p>Laughing together, these two boys with the very different weights of the world on their shoulders, and when they calm Goro says, quietly,<br/>
"I think I'd like to kiss you now."</p><p>Akira grins, and by god, Goro loves him so much he can't stand it. He wants to scream it out and cry and laugh all at once.</p><p>"I think I'd like that, Akechi." </p><p>"Call me Goro, dammit."</p><p> </p><p>"Shut up and kiss me, Goro."</p><p> </p><p>Later, the realization that their first and last kisses happened on the same day keeps Goro awake well into the early hours of the morning, his fingers tracing his lips thoughtfully.</p><p>Tomorrow it all ends. 
How...awful. </p><p> </p><p>Akira sighs in the interrogation room, his body aching and his head swimming.</p><p>He'd known, but it still sucks. Yesterday had been so nice, that he'd nearly ignored the reality.</p><p>It doesn't end here. Goro may think it does, but it won't.</p><p>He thinks back to hours before, when he'd snuck in another kiss in the casino. Hoping it'd change the detective's mind from what was coming, maybe, though he knew Goro had no other choice. 
Cherishing the surprise and what he thinks was a surge of love in those eyes before he'd walked away, to continue their mission that was, in Goro's mind, ultimately set to fail.</p><p>His soulmate, the one he loves despite every warning sign, is on his way to do something terrible.</p><p>Unless something goes wrong though, today won't be their last day.</p><p>It can't be.</p><p> </p><p>Goro walks in, kills the guard with no second thought, ignoring the uncertainty and shift he'd felt moments before. Must be nerves, and he's too far gone for that.</p><p>Wonders how long until Akira says the words.</p><p>Akira, bruised and bloodied, stares at him with eyes dark and knowing, but what does he know? Does he feel betrayed? Hurt? Angry?</p><p>Goro wants to reach out and touch him, to nurse him back to health, to kill anyone who's ever even considered laying a hand on Akira. How dare anyone else touch him, he thinks furiously, biting his cheek as he struggles not to comfort him.</p><p>Akira watches him silently.<br/>
Does he know Goro is stuck on a path he cannot stray from, otherwise right now, this very moment, he would?</p><p>He lifts his arm again, points the gun. His hand shakes slightly, and a minute or so passes in silence. Why isn't Akira speaking? </p><p>Gray eyes blink at him, but his soulmate remains silent. Goro wants to throttle him, now. He spouts off something about justice and endings, a bitter smile on his features, trying to goad the bruised and bloodied boy.
Say the fucking words!</p><p>He hesitates again, finger slipping from the trigger as Akira stares at him blankly.<br/>
Is this it? Is this all? What the <i> fuck is he playing at?!</i> </p><p> </p><p>And its time, this is all he can manage and he can't stall anymore before its gone on too long, and he's hit with the realization:</p><p>this isn't real, and therefore this isn't truly the end, because Akira hasn't said the damn words, the words he knows now are undeniably the last words Akira will ever say to him.
Akira has managed to pull one over on him, and therefore on Shido, and its kind of funny, really. Of course the other half of his soul couldn't be bested so easily. </p><p>Resolute, he readjusts the barrel against the (fake, fake, its all fucking fake!) forehead covered by dark bangs and pulls the trigger.</p><p> </p><p>They meet again in Shido's palace, where Akechi shows his true persona.<br/>
Loki.<br/>
Joker doesn't hesitate, in fact he seems to smile at him, cocky as always, and he feels elated.</p><p>"He's mine." Joker commands the group, forcing them back, and Akechi smirks in appreciation of that, the claim, hearing that voice again.</p><p>That's right. He's his, and they both know it, but perhaps today is the day and Joker, no... Akira, will say the words, and what then?<br/>
He has to live whatever the remainder of his life will be without him for real this time? He'll continue until Shido dies, and he probably will barely make it past that, but even then it's too much time to spend alone now that he knows he doesn't have to be. How very frightening.</p><p> </p><p>Except then its over and he realizes in terror that its his time to die, and Joker hasn't said the goddamn words, and Goro is afterall just a frightened and lost boy.</p><p>Shido used him and will cast him away by his own cognition and Akira hasn't said the damn words! It can't end here! Did Akira's words change? Did he give up on him?<br/>
Fearfully, he glances back, meets those dark eyes one more time, terrified and saddened by the fear and regret there, but Akira doesn't speak, too horrorstricken, a hand gloved in red outstretched.</p><p>Then he's alone with a pathetic version of himself.</p><p>Shots ring out.</p><p> </p><p>Its Christmas Eve.</p><p>Akira is so damn <i> tired.</i><br/>
I wanted to keep my promise, and I didn't... I let him down, he thinks again, mournfully.</p><p>The glove burns a hole in his pocket, where he's taken to carrying it around daily like some kind of talisman.</p><p>A constant reminder of his failure.</p><p>Sae is speaking to him, but its all white noise, and he wants to care so badly but he just can't.</p><p>He misses Akechi so much it hurts.<br/>
It doesn't feel right, or fair. </p><p>Where is the justice in life, anyway? Did it die with his soulmate? They could've gotten past all of it, he's sure.</p><p>They could've healed together. He would've stood by Goro through it all. The team would've understood eventually, they feel bad for him too, and he'd confided his heartbreak in them recently so he didn't have to bare it alone.<br/>
Maybe even if they didn't come around, that'd have been fine. They don't have to blindly follow him, he'd have been completely okay to disagree with them if he had to...</p><p>Sae is still talking. He nods here and there, barely registering.</p><p> </p><p>A voice breaks through the haze and it sends sparks up his spine, pulls his mind out of its haze and awakens everything in him.</p><p>Turning, he sees Goro's face, a small smirk playing on his lips before he walks off with Sae.</p><p>Akira's hand is still outstretched to him after they're long gone, a motion he hadn't even realized he'd taken until after, but now he feels alive again.</p><p>January rolls around and everything changes.<br/>
Goro could see this as a fresh start. Another chance for them.</p><p>He knows that's how Maruki intends it, and the doctor expects them to be grateful, or maybe he doesn't even want thanks. Maybe he really is a good person, and he won't ask for gratitude.</p><p>Well good, because Goro wouldn't give it.<br/>
He'll take the extra time, and he'll be glad to finally tell Akira he loves him, but he shouldn't be here.</p><p>It isn't right.</p><p>He won't be controlled. Shido did that long enough, and he was ready to accept whatever happened as long as Shido went down in flames.</p><p>He doesn't want this.</p><p>Or maybe he does, but not like this.</p><p>Stepping into Leblanc, he feels the energy shift and change in the room as soon as Akira looks up and sees him.</p><p>Akira jumps up and crosses the space immediately, wrapping his arms firmly around Goro, who's suddenly trembling.<br/>
"You've noticed too?" He breathes into black hair, determined not to lose his focus.</p><p>Akira hums in his throat, and Goro can feel it against his shoulder, a reminder that they're here and alive. Akira knows too. Truly his equal.</p><p>"Yes. I've known the whole time...that something isn't right. But...you're here. That's all I wanted. That means more than the rest of it." comes the answer in that deep voice he loves so much, and suddenly he's overcome with affection and a surge of love.</p><p>Goro is speechless for the first time ever.</p><p>He's never mattered more than anything to anybody. He'd assumed...</p><p>He'd assumed Akira would be fine.</p><p>Akira had wanted him, after everything?<br/>
"I think I'd like to kiss you now." Akira mumbles after a minute or five of silence, and Goro chuckles.<br/>
"You'd better."</p><p> </p><p>"You know that I can't live in this false world." </p><p>Akira sighs. This again? They have this conversation at least twice a day.<br/>
"You could. We...we could be happy here."<br/>
"I will not be controlled like some puppet!" Goro shouts.</p><p>This isn't the first and it won't be the last time they've discussed this. </p><p>Its the end of January, and they don't have much time left before they confront Maruki.<br/>
Gray eyes bore into red, seeing his soul.<br/>
"I know how you feel, Goro. I do. But this...this is a happy life. Don't you deserve that?"<br/>
Goro scoffs. "I can't be happy under someone's thumb. Shido did that to me already. I won't live like that. It isn't a life."</p><p>"What about OUR life. The life we could have?!" Akira demands, hurt now. He understands, he does. He knows Goro Akechi inside and out, and he wants to do the right thing too, to do right by Goro and Sumire and all of his friends, who his heart breaks for because they never deserved any of the terrible things they've suffered, but almost more than all of that he wants to be greedy just this once. Just once.<br/>
Goro stalks off. He can't answer that, he can't show weakness and give in now, no matter how a small, frail part of him wishes he could.</p><p> </p><p>It's February 2nd, and he's just so fucking angry, and he wants Akira, the thief who put a bullet in a gods head, to stop thinking so small, to just <i> fucking listen,</i> and-<br/>
"Are you really so spineless that you'd fold over some bullshit, trivial threat on my life-"</p><p>Oh no.</p><p>"This isn't trivial!" Akira screams, his voice cracking as his fists ball up and tears begin streaming down his face, and Goro panics.</p><p>Fuck<br/>
No no no <i>no-</i></p><p>He runs, and if Akira chases him, he doesn't notice or stop.
If he stops he'll give in.
Goro's eyes are brimming and spilling over, his lungs aching and the lump in his throat threatening to choke him.

Akira will do whatever he has to.</p><p> </p><p>Spring rolls into summer.<br/>
Goro stares at the words on his wrist, an odd feeling prickling in the back of his mind.</p><p>They've attended the graduation ceremony, congratulated Haru and Makoto, and a kind stranger took a photo for them as a group to commemorate the occasion...
they're all so happy, so content and at peace.</p><p>but something is wrong, he thinks.</p><p>Akira leans over the counter, the thieves in a booth behind them being loud and rowdy, an easy smile on his face.<br/>
"Penny for your thoughts?" he teases, gray eyes soft. Goro knows that look, a look of complete love and adoration. All their friends are here, Goro is here, Akira is never leaving Tokyo. </p><p>What a happy life. Idealistic. Bright.<br/>
Goro hums in the back of his throat.</p><p>"My mark is odd, wouldn't you say?"<br/>
He barely glances up through his lashes to see something imperceptible flicker through Akira's eyes.</p><p>"It just means we'll keep each other on our toes forever is what I'd guess," the barista says lightly, almost drowned out by Ryuji shouting in the background as Morgana throws something at him, Kasumi laughing at their antics.</p><p>It's too pleasant. Too nice.</p><p>"You could say that. I just cannot shake the feeling I've heard it already." Goro replies, just as pleasantly, and Akira watches the suspicion glint in his eyes with a tiny creasing of his eyebrows.</p><p>"Maybe because that's my way of saying I love you." he manages, heart warming as Goro blushes and looks away, whispering an affirmation of his own as the color rises into his cheeks.</p><p>Akira smiles, his shoulders drop from their tense position.</p><p>It isn't entirely a lie, in any case.</p><p>Goro isn't an idiot. He'd figured it out before, and moments like this where clarity rang through are more frequent than even Maruki likely would've predicted.</p><p>Akira doesn't regret it, though. He'll explain when the time inevitably comes, that he was too selfish to do the right thing for the final time like he was supposed to. He wasn't willing to risk the most likely chance of returning to a world where he'd let his soulmate die.</p><p>He'd seen Goro's wrist, on February 1st. He hadn't intended to say the words the next day, fate just happened that way, and as Goro ran from him and refused to come back, he'd betrayed him.</p><p>It had felt bad. </p><p>Living without him had felt worse.</p><p>For now, it's easier to tell a half truth. Easier to admit that when he'd shouted those words, he'd hoped the unspoken I love you behind them had shown through, because Goro had refused to let him say it that entire month they'd had together before he expected him to let go. </p><p>In the end, Goro will have to understand, because this reality was built for them, and here he shouldn't have to fumble to explain that he needs him, that he didn't want the true reality where no one knew if Goro would make it.</p><p>That he's sorry, because while they will still always be soulmates, because they were made for each other, they're two halves of one coin and even if they weren't-</p><p>because Maruki made sure of it, and this is the reality they have now-</p><p>that those words on that thin wrist were still the last real words he would ever properly say to Goro Akechi.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. alt ending</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>okay so. the deadline ending has been on my mind the last few days (i literally had a dream about it not long ago) and angst said....time to write an alternate ending to this fic lmaooooo i love crying </p>
<p>if you read chapter one this is literally the same up til february 2nd where it deviates. </p>
<p>also. if you haven't experienced the deadline ending and would like to be forewarned and cry with me, here it is in english: </p>
<p>https://youtu.be/8jyqhWA07gE<br/>but fair warning its DEPRESSING. like I've never had a game ending bum me out on this exact level before due to the endless ways to imagine JUST HOW SAD IT IS</p>
<p>anyway here u go im sorry</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Goro Akechi was 17 when his soulmark appeared.</p>
<p>Nearly the entire population had a soulmark.<br/>
You got a set, matching with the one person who's soul was most compatible with your own. Your "perfect other half". Romance at its finest and purest form.</p>
<p>50% of soulmarks were actually platonic, but don't tell people, especially the media, and their fixation with romance that little detail.</p>
<p>Although perhaps the teen detective was just bitter.<br/>
Romance and soulmarks had never made any positive impacts on his own life, and he didn't set much store by the idea of them at all. </p>
<p>Facts remained though that your soulmark generally appeared anywhere from six months to a year before you're destined to find that person, that other half. One person would get the first words their soulmate would say to them, while the second would have the last ones.<br/>
Not every soulmark would end in happiness, as some people could have multiple marks, refuse to consider their soulmate at all, or in less frequent occasions, have theirs change entirely.</p>
<p>Goro wasn't sure how to feel about his, but he surely hoped they were the first words.</p>
<p>His soulmate must be very passionate about what they believe in, that's all. Maybe they'd meet in a debate, or working some kind of case...perhaps they were a prodigy too, much like him. Someone on his level did sound like a nice break from the rest of the people in the world. </p>
<p>Someone who would understand him. The idea was somewhat...soothing.</p>
<p>"This isn't trivial!" shone up from his wrist in a somewhat messy script.</p>
<p>Well.<br/>
This will be interesting, he thought.</p>
<p>Guess I'll wait and see. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akira Kurusu's life had changed when he'd been arrested.</p>
<p>The teen wasn't usually up for "delinquent" activities, no matter what the government thought, but it couldn't be helped. There was no way he'd let that man hurt that woman if he could stop it!</p>
<p>But now here he was, in Cafe Leblanc, an outcast. Sent away to rehabilitate and make sure to not toe the line and cause any other "problems".</p>
<p>His parents had been mortified, his old friends dropped him, the school kicked him out.<br/>
Even his new caretaker, Sojiro, didn't want him here either. The people on the street avoided him. Shujin wasn't much happier to have him than his old school and treated him like garbage, like they were waiting for him to screw up so they could be rid of him.</p>
<p>It was a very lonely life.</p>
<p>However, his soulmark had appeared recently, and based on the...unique words reflected there, it seemed to be shaping up to change soon.</p>
<p>"Did I hear something about delicious pancakes?"</p>
<p>They had to be first words. How weird was that, though? How could that possibly be the first thing a soulmate would say? But it'd only be stranger if they were the final ones, after a long and happy life, so his soulmate must have the last words on their end.</p>
<p>Only logical explanation.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Maybe they'd be a customer? Did Sojiro serve pancakes here? He'd have to ask, and risk annoying his guardian. Maybe they'd meet randomly? Who could say.</p>
<p>It was sure to be interesting, he thought to himself, feeling a little less lonely and frightened as he went to bed that night.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Goro and Akira first see each other at the tv station, where the ace detective is discussing the Phantom Thieves.</p>
<p>Akira is intrigued by the teenage detective with his strong sense of justice, even though he seems pretty deadset against him, his friends, and their mission.<br/>
Well. Who doesn't like a challenge?<br/>
Akira wouldn't let anyone harm his friends, who he's grown to love in the short timespan he's known them, and he hopes Akechi can come around. His motives seem similar to their own, after all. 
The detective is compelling, and Akira wants him to see their side.</p>
<p>The hosts go to have him speak, but before he can, Ryuji cuts across him loudly, accusing Akechi who doesn't seem fazed at all, and he supposes it's for the best. Extra attention here isn't necessarily something he wants or needs. Leading the thieves is already more trouble than he should've jumped into, technically speaking, but it felt so good to be accepted and needed that he'd yet to regret it. </p>
<p>Akechi seems to want to speak to them immediately after, his red eyes boring into Akira's thoughtfully, like he knows something they don't. 
As he meanders over, he gets pulled aside by crew members instead, and Ryuji seems eager to get out of the studio.</p>
<p>The Phantom Thieves are down in a hallway, discussing things that are mundane, when Morgana asks about the pancake looking building right before Akechi rounds the corner.</p>
<p>As the detective smiles at him kindly, Akira feels a sense of foreboding he can't quite understand in the moment. Like waiting for a drop you're unprepared for on a pitch black rollercoaster. </p>
<p>"Did I hear something about delicious pancakes?"<br/>
It could technically be posed to the group at large, but those intelligent red eyes are locked on him, and Akira swallows hard around a sudden lump in his throat.</p>
<p>The one who wants to put an end to them, to see them fall, is his soulmate.
His soulmate who can understand Morgana, though those full implications won't sink in til later in his flustered mind. </p>
<p>To borrow a word from Ryuji:</p>
<p> <i> shit.</i> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Goro isn't stupid. Quite the opposite, in fact, and a proud fact of his life is that his ability to sense bullshit is quite strong.</p>
<p>Shido is full of shit, as are most like him, and all his cronies. Okumura was full of shit. The bastards walking around preying on innocents without ever getting what they deserve are the worst of them.</p>
<p>The world at large is full of shit. All these people do selfish things, commit terrible acts, and they don't care what happens as a result of their cruelty. 

Justice isn't swift enough for the lot of them. Justice isn't quick enough. But he is.</p>
<p>The Phantom Thieves aren't like that, though.<br/>
They genuinely want to help people.<br/>
Its...nice. To know that in another life he would've wanted to be their friend for real, their teammate, especially Akira Kurusu's...
Sadder to think that if he'd met them sooner, maybe he wouldn't be in the position he's in currently...</p>
<p>because the leader, Joker himself, is his soulmate.</p>
<p>Goro knows this. He hasn't confirmed it by the words but something in his heart, his very being, screams it. Ever since that day in the tv station, he's felt a magnetic pull to the dark haired boy who leads the Thieves.<br/>
Something about the two of them seems right. It feels natural. </p>
<p>Originally the plan had been to lie his way into friendship, but its all fucking twisted now. </p>
<p>Because when its just the two of them he genuinely means the things he says to the quiet boy he's with, who seems to come alive around him and speak up more than he does elsewhere. Akira Kurusu is not without his own masks, but he seems to drop nearly all pretense with Goro. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>They're two peas in a pod, two sides of one coin. They'd have connecting red strings, if such a thing existed. Their souls are in tune.</p>
<p>Surely they share soulmarks. It's like... he gets it now. He understands the appeal. Desire and love and a dream of a romantic idealistic ending. </p>
<p>Such feelings make him feel ill, and overjoyed, and fill him with the deepest pit of soulcrushing despair all at once.</p>
<p>Red eyes downcast, he stares at the words on his wrist, always tucked out of sight of others, most especially Kurusu, and wants to break down into tears. </p>
<p>Goro Akechi is in love with Akira Kurusu, despite everything, and it won't do him any good.</p>
<p>Akira paces the attic room.</p>
<p>He can't confide the way he feels to any of his friends, or even tell them that Akechi is his soulmate. They'd question his judgement, his willingness to befriend the person they know is their enemy.</p>
<p>It's such a mess. </p>
<p>Morgana knows something is wrong, but for once he doesn't seem to feel the need to question it. The cat just watches him pace, quiet and thoughtful.</p>
<p>They hang out often, Akechi and Akira. Akira loves these outings, their little games.</p>
<p>The detective prince has some deep sadness, he can tell. He keeps his secrets for the most part, hides behind walls he's clearly built to keep the world out, but Akira feels like he knows him as well as he knows himself.<br/>
He can see through the cracks in the armor, the boy behind the mask of Robin Hood, or the Detective Prince.<br/>
Akechi is an open book in his eyes.</p>
<p>They've made promises. They're rivals. They're friends. They're soulmates.</p>
<p>Goro Akechi isn't everything he claims to be. Akira knows this, and that's what breaks his heart all the more, is that he knows that and loves his soulmate regardless, even though its doomed.</p>
<p>Their time has to be running out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Goro sighs.<br/>
It's nearly time.</p>
<p>He has to kill him soon and end this all, and he dreads it.<br/>
It's November 19th.</p>
<p>Picking up his phone, he calls Akira.<br/>
"Would you mind joining me on an outing today? I want a distraction before we have to finish this."<br/>
The double edge to his words goes unheard or perhaps unnoticed entirely.</p>
<p>Akira agrees, and Goro can nearly hear the smile in his answer.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They meet at the aquarium where they had their first "date".</p>
<p>Goro hadn't called it that at the time, though he'd wanted to. June seems so long ago now, and he wishes time had slowed down, or that he'd used it differently. Its pointless to hope, his path had been decided long ago, but he wishes he'd met the Thief sooner regardless. Time is cruel. </p>
<p>Hardly anyone is here in the aquarium tonight, a fact he's grateful for. No worries about his public image or the persona he has to maintain around others in fear of slipping up and being cast away again.</p>
<p>Akira is looking at him with dark gray eyes full of questions, and Goro outstretches a glove clad hand, swallowing down his fear.</p>
<p>"I don't hate you. Not really." He whispers, like a peace offering. </p>
<p>Akira just smiles in response, the tiniest upturn of his lips, and grasps the offered hand in his own.</p>
<p>"I know." he whispers back, and Goro can't take it, he has to know. He needs this, the concrete confirmation of what he already knows. He doesn't want to wait until it's too late.</p>
<p>"What does your soulmark say?"</p>
<p>Akira blinks behind his (fake) glasses, then laughs, his interlocked fingers tightening reassuringly against his hand.<br/>
"Rather personal question, hm?" His deep voice teases. </p>
<p>Goro tenses, ready to withdraw his hand and say forget it, fuck you, I'm killing you soon anyway, even if it is at his command, and it doesn't matter but oh my god it really does but its <i> FINE! </i> I can live not knowing, or you'll confirm it tomorrow anyway, and-</p>
<p>then Akira uses his free hand to roll up his sleeve and show Goro the words branded there.</p>
<p>They stare down together, and Goro feels his brain just halt before he snorts. He'd forgotten those were the specific first words he'd said, only a few months before but what felt like so long ago now.</p>
<p>The sound makes Akira laugh, even though it's so undignified, really, and not fitting the image Goro's carefully crafted in public.<br/>
But then again neither does the hand holding and besides, hardly anyone is here currently anyway.</p>
<p>Laughing together, these two boys with the very different weights of the world on their shoulders, and when they calm Goro says, quietly,<br/>
"I think I'd like to kiss you now."</p>
<p>Akira grins, and by god, Goro loves him so much he can't stand it. He wants to scream it out and cry and laugh all at once.</p>
<p>"I think I'd like that, Akechi." </p>
<p>"Call me Goro, dammit."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Shut up and kiss me, Goro."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Later, the realization that their first and last kisses happened on the same day keeps Goro awake well into the early hours of the morning, his fingers tracing his lips thoughtfully.</p>
<p>Tomorrow it all ends. 
How...awful. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Akira sighs in the interrogation room, his body aching and his head swimming.</p>
<p>He'd known, but it still sucks. Yesterday had been so nice, that he'd nearly ignored the reality.</p>
<p>It doesn't end here. Goro may think it does, but it won't.</p>
<p>He thinks back to hours before, when he'd snuck in another kiss in the casino. Hoping it'd change the detective's mind from what was coming, maybe, though he knew Goro had no other choice. 
Cherishing the surprise and what he thinks was a surge of love in those eyes before he'd walked away, to continue their mission that was, in Goro's mind, ultimately set to fail.</p>
<p>His soulmate, the one he loves despite every warning sign, is on his way to do something terrible.</p>
<p>Unless something goes wrong though, today won't be their last day.</p>
<p>It can't be.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Goro walks in, kills the guard with no second thought, ignoring the uncertainty and shift he'd felt moments before. Must be nerves, and he's too far gone for that.</p>
<p>Wonders how long until Akira says the words.</p>
<p>Akira, bruised and bloodied, stares at him with eyes dark and knowing, but what does he know? Does he feel betrayed? Hurt? Angry?</p>
<p>Goro wants to reach out and touch him, to nurse him back to health, to kill anyone who's ever even considered laying a hand on Akira. How dare anyone else touch him, he thinks furiously, biting his cheek as he struggles not to comfort him.</p>
<p>Akira watches him silently.<br/>
Does he know Goro is stuck on a path he cannot stray from, otherwise right now, this very moment, he would?</p>
<p>He lifts his arm again, points the gun. His hand shakes slightly, and a minute or so passes in silence. Why isn't Akira speaking? </p>
<p>Gray eyes blink at him, but his soulmate remains silent. Goro wants to throttle him, now. He spouts off something about justice and endings, a bitter smile on his features, trying to goad the bruised and bloodied boy.
Say the fucking words!</p>
<p>He hesitates again, finger slipping from the trigger as Akira stares at him blankly.<br/>
Is this it? Is this all? What the <i> fuck is he playing at?!</i> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>And its time, this is all he can manage and he can't stall anymore before its gone on too long, and he's hit with the realization:</p>
<p>this isn't real, and therefore this isn't truly the end, because Akira hasn't said the damn words, the words he knows now are undeniably the last words Akira will ever say to him.
Akira has managed to pull one over on him, and therefore on Shido, and its kind of funny, really. Of course the other half of his soul couldn't be bested so easily. </p>
<p>Resolute, he readjusts the barrel against the (fake, fake, its all fucking fake!) forehead covered by dark bangs and pulls the trigger.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They meet again in Shido's palace, where Akechi shows his true persona.<br/>
Loki.<br/>
Joker doesn't hesitate, in fact he seems to smile at him, cocky as always, and he feels elated.</p>
<p>"He's mine." Joker commands the group, forcing them back, and Akechi smirks in appreciation of that, the claim, hearing that voice again.</p>
<p>That's right. He's his, and they both know it, but perhaps today is the day and Joker, no... Akira, will say the words, and what then?<br/>
He has to live whatever the remainder of his life will be without him for real this time? He'll continue until Shido dies, and he probably will barely make it past that, but even then it's too much time to spend alone now that he knows he doesn't have to be. How very frightening.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Except then its over and he realizes in terror that its his time to die, and Joker hasn't said the goddamn words, and Goro is afterall just a frightened and lost boy.</p>
<p>Shido used him and will cast him away by his own cognition and Akira hasn't said the damn words! It can't end here! Did Akira's words change? Did he give up on him?<br/>
Fearfully, he glances back, meets those dark eyes one more time, terrified and saddened by the fear and regret there, but Akira doesn't speak, too horrorstricken, a hand gloved in red outstretched.</p>
<p>Then he's alone with a pathetic version of himself.</p>
<p>Shots ring out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Its Christmas Eve.</p>
<p>Akira is so damn <i> tired.</i><br/>
I wanted to keep my promise, and I didn't... I let him down, he thinks again, mournfully.</p>
<p>The glove burns a hole in his pocket, where he's taken to carrying it around daily like some kind of talisman.</p>
<p>A constant reminder of his failure.</p>
<p>Sae is speaking to him, but its all white noise, and he wants to care so badly but he just can't.</p>
<p>He misses Akechi so much it hurts.<br/>
It doesn't feel right, or fair. </p>
<p>Where is the justice in life, anyway? Did it die with his soulmate? They could've gotten past all of it, he's sure.</p>
<p>They could've healed together. He would've stood by Goro through it all. The team would've understood eventually, they feel bad for him too, and he'd confided his heartbreak in them recently so he didn't have to bare it alone.<br/>
Maybe even if they didn't come around, that'd have been fine. They don't have to blindly follow him, he'd have been completely okay to disagree with them if he had to...</p>
<p>Sae is still talking. He nods here and there, barely registering.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A voice breaks through the haze and it sends sparks up his spine, pulls his mind out of its haze and awakens everything in him.</p>
<p>Turning, he sees Goro's face, a small smirk playing on his lips before he walks off with Sae.</p>
<p>Akira's hand is still outstretched to him after they're long gone, a motion he hadn't even realized he'd taken until after, but now he feels alive again.</p>
<p>January rolls around and everything changes.<br/>
Goro could see this as a fresh start. Another chance for them.</p>
<p>He knows that's how Maruki intends it, and the doctor expects them to be grateful, or maybe he doesn't even want thanks. Maybe he really is a good person, and he won't ask for gratitude.</p>
<p>Well good, because Goro wouldn't give it.<br/>
He'll take the extra time, and he'll be glad to finally tell Akira he loves him, but he shouldn't be here.</p>
<p>It isn't right.</p>
<p>He won't be controlled. Shido did that long enough, and he was ready to accept whatever happened as long as Shido went down in flames.</p>
<p>He doesn't want this.</p>
<p>Or maybe he does, but not like this.</p>
<p>Stepping into Leblanc, he feels the energy shift and change in the room as soon as Akira looks up and sees him.</p>
<p>Akira jumps up and crosses the space immediately, wrapping his arms firmly around Goro, who's suddenly trembling.<br/>
"You've noticed too?" He breathes into black hair, determined not to lose his focus.</p>
<p>Akira hums in his throat, and Goro can feel it against his shoulder, a reminder that they're here and alive. Akira knows too. Truly his equal.</p>
<p>"Yes. I've known the whole time...that something isn't right. But...you're here. That's all I wanted. That means more than the rest of it." comes the answer in that deep voice he loves so much, and suddenly he's overcome with affection and a surge of love.</p>
<p>Goro is speechless for the first time ever.</p>
<p>He's never mattered more than anything to anybody. He'd assumed...</p>
<p>He'd assumed Akira would be fine.</p>
<p>Akira had wanted him, after everything?<br/>
"I think I'd like to kiss you now." Akira mumbles after a minute or five of silence, and Goro chuckles.<br/>
"You'd better."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"You know that I can't live in this false world." </p>
<p>Akira sighs. This again? They have this conversation at least twice a day.<br/>
"You could. We...we could be happy here."<br/>
"I will not be controlled like some puppet!" Goro shouts.</p>
<p>This isn't the first and it won't be the last time they've discussed this. </p>
<p>Its the end of January, and they don't have much time left before they confront Maruki.<br/>
Gray eyes bore into red, seeing his soul.<br/>
"I know how you feel, Goro. I do. But this...this is a happy life. Don't you deserve that?"<br/>
Goro scoffs. "I can't be happy under someone's thumb. Shido did that to me already. I won't live like that. It isn't a life."</p>
<p>"What about OUR life. The life we could have?!" Akira demands, hurt now. He understands, he does. He knows Goro Akechi inside and out, and he wants to do the right thing too, to do right by Goro and Sumire and all of his friends, who his heart breaks for because they never deserved any of the terrible things they've suffered, but almost more than all of that he wants to be greedy just this once. Just once.<br/>
Goro stalks off. He can't answer that, he can't show weakness and give in now, no matter how a small, frail part of him wishes he could.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's February 2nd.<br/>
For the first time, the Phantom Thieves have failed.<br/>
They've missed the deadline.</p>
<p>The group is softly speaking, lamenting their inability to complete the palace in time, but Akira can't process what they're saying under the weight of Goro's gaze on him.</p>
<p>They file out one by one, until its only him and his - boyfriend? partner? the man who won't let him say I love you, but shares a soulmark with him- </p>
<p>until its just them.</p>
<p>Goro sighs.</p>
<p>"What are you going to do?" He asks, sharply, and Akira just. doesnt. know anymore.</p>
<p>Being the leader is exhausting. Being asked to make all these decisions and hard choices and expected to be available 24/7-<br/>
he's so tired of being in charge.</p>
<p>"Please tell me you won't let some sentimental bullshit keep you from making a move! Your feelings based on a trivial little thing like my life shouldn't hold you back, dammit Akira!" Goro snaps at him, and tears spring to gray eyes.</p>
<p>"This isn't trivial." he grits out from behind his teeth, a lump in his throat, heart hammering in his ears.</p>
<p>Goro's eyes widen. "What did you just say?!" he hisses, softly, dangerously. Goro only gets this quiet when he's hurt or angry, only gets this dangerous low tone when he's furious in a way he can't scream out. </p>
<p>Akira flinches, because he knows what he said, and knows Goro would only react this way to one thing-</p>
<p>"This isn't trivial." he says loudly, gaze locked with his soulmate's, and Goro is trembling before he flees.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Seems like you can't reach a decision. In all honesty, I really wanted you to accept my gift of your own free will... But I see that demanding a decision from you is only making you suffer. </p>
<p>That was never my intention. So don't worry- there's no need to obsess over it anymore. I'll bring you your happiness.</p>
<p>Pleasant dreams.</p>
<p>for as many days or years you may have."</p>
<p>Akira blinks slowly, and then everything goes black.</p>
<p>"Goro...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Goro shoots straight up in bed, heart hammering in his chest. it's February 3rd and-</p>
<p>something is wrong.</p>
<p>He jumps up, pulling on clothes and reaches for his coat, determined to head to Leblanc immediately and shake some sense into Akira, because it cannot be too late to make the choice he MUST make, and-</p>
<p>He gapes at his wrist as he catches sight of it.</p>
<p>The words are fading, what was once black ink turning whiter by the minute, and he assumes soon they will be nothing but scars until inevitably they're gone forever.<br/>
That can only happen one way, his brain supplies, if his soulmate died or was lost to him, they'd scar over-</p>
<p>"What the fuck did you do, Akira?" he whispers, pulse racing as his soulmark turns white.</p>
<p>Akira would never sever their bond willingly...</p>
<p>this must be the fault of Maruk-</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Goro Akechi steps into Leblanc, and a small girl with orange hair and glasses and the dark haired blue eyed boy next to her look up at him in confusion.</p>
<p>There's something familiar about them, but he just can't place it...</p>
<p>At the counter, the cafe owner is smiling with a woman with glasses and short dark hair, easygoing and carefree in their conversation.</p>
<p>The man glances over at him.<br/>
"Hey kid, can I help you?"</p>
<p>Goro starts. Plastering on a pleasant smile, eyes crinkling, 'your tv face, goro' a deep voice in the back of his mind teases gently, he replies, lying smoothly, because he has <i> no idea </i> why he rushed here at all...<br/>
"Ah, no thank you. Pardon the intrusion. I thought...I was supposed to meet someone here. Appears I was mistaken."<br/>
Red eyes stray towards the staircase, absently puzzling over why he wants to climb them as if he'd find whatever he's looking for at the top.<br/>
Strange. Maybe he needs to get out of the house more often, his brain seems fried. Shaking his head slightly, he tears his eyes away from the dark shadowy area above the cafe.</p>
<p>With a friendly wave Goro leaves, and a brown haired man in a corner booth, facing the wall and sitting alone, smiles. </p>
<p>The door closing downstairs wakes the dark haired boy from his sleep, going to reach for a phone only to find that it died.<br/>
<i> oh. must have forgotten to charge it. oh well. </i></p>
<p>The light catches his skin, gray eyes staring listlessly at words on his wrist that have faded into scars, white against the skin, nearly invisible.</p>
<p>That hurts so much, why couldn't he-<br/>
Goro-</p>
<p><i> no, best not to think. </i><br/>
I'm so tired.. maybe a little more sleep wouldn't hurt...</p>
<p>He rolls over, hunching in on himself in the dark, empty room filled with dust, sleep coming to take his worries away.</p>
<p>It doesn't matter anyway.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. the alt alt ending</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>welp seems i couldnt help myself and wrote ANOTHER ENDING based on the true end and the rehab stuff that was cut. bc akechi deserves it ffs</p><p>obvs again changed timelines here with even the cut scene to fit what i wanted to do my au my house my rules ya feel<br/>once again everything is the same up until february 2nd/3rd i guess kinda where it deviates</p><p>uhhhhh</p><p>really if you asked which of the endings i wrote that i prefer I'd probs still say the first chapter with the Good Bad end is my favorite bc hhhhh i love angst i cant help it</p><p> </p><p>anyway hi if you wanna chat about shuake I'd be happy to give out my twitter if anyone's interested ;; ok byeeeeee</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Goro Akechi was 17 when his soulmark appeared.</p><p>Nearly the entire population had a soulmark.<br/>
You got a set, matching with the one person who's soul was most compatible with your own. Your "perfect other half". Romance at its finest and purest form.</p><p>50% of soulmarks were actually platonic, but don't tell people, especially the media, and their fixation with romance that little detail.</p><p>Although perhaps the teen detective was just bitter.<br/>
Romance and soulmarks had never made any positive impacts on his own life, and he didn't set much store by the idea of them at all. </p><p>Facts remained though that your soulmark generally appeared anywhere from six months to a year before you're destined to find that person, that other half. One person would get the first words their soulmate would say to them, while the second would have the last ones.<br/>
Not every soulmark would end in happiness, as some people could have multiple marks, refuse to consider their soulmate at all, or in less frequent occasions, have theirs change entirely.</p><p>Goro wasn't sure how to feel about his, but he surely hoped they were the first words.</p><p>His soulmate must be very passionate about what they believe in, that's all. Maybe they'd meet in a debate, or working some kind of case...perhaps they were a prodigy too, much like him. Someone on his level did sound like a nice break from the rest of the people in the world. </p><p>Someone who would understand him. The idea was somewhat...soothing.</p><p>"This isn't trivial!" shone up from his wrist in a somewhat messy script.</p><p>Well.<br/>
This will be interesting, he thought.</p><p>Guess I'll wait and see. </p><p> </p><p>Akira Kurusu's life had changed when he'd been arrested.</p><p>The teen wasn't usually up for "delinquent" activities, no matter what the government thought, but it couldn't be helped. There was no way he'd let that man hurt that woman if he could stop it!</p><p>But now here he was, in Cafe Leblanc, an outcast. Sent away to rehabilitate and make sure to not toe the line and cause any other "problems".</p><p>His parents had been mortified, his old friends dropped him, the school kicked him out.<br/>
Even his new caretaker, Sojiro, didn't want him here either. The people on the street avoided him. Shujin wasn't much happier to have him than his old school and treated him like garbage, like they were waiting for him to screw up so they could be rid of him.</p><p>It was a very lonely life.</p><p>However, his soulmark had appeared recently, and based on the...unique words reflected there, it seemed to be shaping up to change soon.</p><p>"Did I hear something about delicious pancakes?"</p><p>They had to be first words. How weird was that, though? How could that possibly be the first thing a soulmate would say? But it'd only be stranger if they were the final ones, after a long and happy life, so his soulmate must have the last words on their end.</p><p>Only logical explanation.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe they'd be a customer? Did Sojiro serve pancakes here? He'd have to ask, and risk annoying his guardian. Maybe they'd meet randomly? Who could say.</p><p>It was sure to be interesting, he thought to himself, feeling a little less lonely and frightened as he went to bed that night.</p><p> </p><p>Goro and Akira first see each other at the tv station, where the ace detective is discussing the Phantom Thieves.</p><p>Akira is intrigued by the teenage detective with his strong sense of justice, even though he seems pretty deadset against him, his friends, and their mission.<br/>
Well. Who doesn't like a challenge?<br/>
Akira wouldn't let anyone harm his friends, who he's grown to love in the short timespan he's known them, and he hopes Akechi can come around. His motives seem similar to their own, after all. 
The detective is compelling, and Akira wants him to see their side.</p><p>The hosts go to have him speak, but before he can, Ryuji cuts across him loudly, accusing Akechi who doesn't seem fazed at all, and he supposes it's for the best. Extra attention here isn't necessarily something he wants or needs. Leading the thieves is already more trouble than he should've jumped into, technically speaking, but it felt so good to be accepted and needed that he'd yet to regret it. </p><p>Akechi seems to want to speak to them immediately after, his red eyes boring into Akira's thoughtfully, like he knows something they don't. 
As he meanders over, he gets pulled aside by crew members instead, and Ryuji seems eager to get out of the studio.</p><p>The Phantom Thieves are down in a hallway, discussing things that are mundane, when Morgana asks about the pancake looking building right before Akechi rounds the corner.</p><p>As the detective smiles at him kindly, Akira feels a sense of foreboding he can't quite understand in the moment. Like waiting for a drop you're unprepared for on a pitch black rollercoaster. </p><p>"Did I hear something about delicious pancakes?"<br/>
It could technically be posed to the group at large, but those intelligent red eyes are locked on him, and Akira swallows hard around a sudden lump in his throat.</p><p>The one who wants to put an end to them, to see them fall, is his soulmate.
His soulmate who can understand Morgana, though those full implications won't sink in til later in his flustered mind. </p><p>To borrow a word from Ryuji:</p><p> <i> shit.</i> </p><p> </p><p>Goro isn't stupid. Quite the opposite, in fact, and a proud fact of his life is that his ability to sense bullshit is quite strong.</p><p>Shido is full of shit, as are most like him, and all his cronies. Okumura was full of shit. The bastards walking around preying on innocents without ever getting what they deserve are the worst of them.</p><p>The world at large is full of shit. All these people do selfish things, commit terrible acts, and they don't care what happens as a result of their cruelty. 

Justice isn't swift enough for the lot of them. Justice isn't quick enough. But he is.</p><p>The Phantom Thieves aren't like that, though.<br/>
They genuinely want to help people.<br/>
Its...nice. To know that in another life he would've wanted to be their friend for real, their teammate, especially Akira Kurusu's...
Sadder to think that if he'd met them sooner, maybe he wouldn't be in the position he's in currently...</p><p>because the leader, Joker himself, is his soulmate.</p><p>Goro knows this. He hasn't confirmed it by the words but something in his heart, his very being, screams it. Ever since that day in the tv station, he's felt a magnetic pull to the dark haired boy who leads the Thieves.<br/>
Something about the two of them seems right. It feels natural. </p><p>Originally the plan had been to lie his way into friendship, but its all fucking twisted now. </p><p>Because when its just the two of them he genuinely means the things he says to the quiet boy he's with, who seems to come alive around him and speak up more than he does elsewhere. Akira Kurusu is not without his own masks, but he seems to drop nearly all pretense with Goro. </p><p> </p><p>They're two peas in a pod, two sides of one coin. They'd have connecting red strings, if such a thing existed. Their souls are in tune.</p><p>Surely they share soulmarks. It's like... he gets it now. He understands the appeal. Desire and love and a dream of a romantic idealistic ending. </p><p>Such feelings make him feel ill, and overjoyed, and fill him with the deepest pit of soulcrushing despair all at once.</p><p>Red eyes downcast, he stares at the words on his wrist, always tucked out of sight of others, most especially Kurusu, and wants to break down into tears. </p><p>Goro Akechi is in love with Akira Kurusu, despite everything, and it won't do him any good.</p><p>Akira paces the attic room.</p><p>He can't confide the way he feels to any of his friends, or even tell them that Akechi is his soulmate. They'd question his judgement, his willingness to befriend the person they know is their enemy.</p><p>It's such a mess. </p><p>Morgana knows something is wrong, but for once he doesn't seem to feel the need to question it. The cat just watches him pace, quiet and thoughtful.</p><p>They hang out often, Akechi and Akira. Akira loves these outings, their little games.</p><p>The detective prince has some deep sadness, he can tell. He keeps his secrets for the most part, hides behind walls he's clearly built to keep the world out, but Akira feels like he knows him as well as he knows himself.<br/>
He can see through the cracks in the armor, the boy behind the mask of Robin Hood, or the Detective Prince.<br/>
Akechi is an open book in his eyes.</p><p>They've made promises. They're rivals. They're friends. They're soulmates.</p><p>Goro Akechi isn't everything he claims to be. Akira knows this, and that's what breaks his heart all the more, is that he knows that and loves his soulmate regardless, even though its doomed.</p><p>Their time has to be running out.</p><p> </p><p>Goro sighs.<br/>
It's nearly time.</p><p>He has to kill him soon and end this all, and he dreads it.<br/>
It's November 19th.</p><p>Picking up his phone, he calls Akira.<br/>
"Would you mind joining me on an outing today? I want a distraction before we have to finish this."<br/>
The double edge to his words goes unheard or perhaps unnoticed entirely.</p><p>Akira agrees, and Goro can nearly hear the smile in his answer.</p><p> </p><p>They meet at the aquarium where they had their first "date".</p><p>Goro hadn't called it that at the time, though he'd wanted to. June seems so long ago now, and he wishes time had slowed down, or that he'd used it differently. Its pointless to hope, his path had been decided long ago, but he wishes he'd met the Thief sooner regardless. Time is cruel. </p><p>Hardly anyone is here in the aquarium tonight, a fact he's grateful for. No worries about his public image or the persona he has to maintain around others in fear of slipping up and being cast away again.</p><p>Akira is looking at him with dark gray eyes full of questions, and Goro outstretches a glove clad hand, swallowing down his fear.</p><p>"I don't hate you. Not really." He whispers, like a peace offering. </p><p>Akira just smiles in response, the tiniest upturn of his lips, and grasps the offered hand in his own.</p><p>"I know." he whispers back, and Goro can't take it, he has to know. He needs this, the concrete confirmation of what he already knows. He doesn't want to wait until it's too late.</p><p>"What does your soulmark say?"</p><p>Akira blinks behind his (fake) glasses, then laughs, his interlocked fingers tightening reassuringly against his hand.<br/>
"Rather personal question, hm?" His deep voice teases. </p><p>Goro tenses, ready to withdraw his hand and say forget it, fuck you, I'm killing you soon anyway, even if it is at his command, and it doesn't matter but oh my god it really does but its <i> FINE! </i> I can live not knowing, or you'll confirm it tomorrow anyway, and-</p><p>then Akira uses his free hand to roll up his sleeve and show Goro the words branded there.</p><p>They stare down together, and Goro feels his brain just halt before he snorts. He'd forgotten those were the specific first words he'd said, only a few months before but what felt like so long ago now.</p><p>The sound makes Akira laugh, even though it's so undignified, really, and not fitting the image Goro's carefully crafted in public.<br/>
But then again neither does the hand holding and besides, hardly anyone is here currently anyway.</p><p>Laughing together, these two boys with the very different weights of the world on their shoulders, and when they calm Goro says, quietly,<br/>
"I think I'd like to kiss you now."</p><p>Akira grins, and by god, Goro loves him so much he can't stand it. He wants to scream it out and cry and laugh all at once.</p><p>"I think I'd like that, Akechi." </p><p>"Call me Goro, dammit."</p><p> </p><p>"Shut up and kiss me, Goro."</p><p> </p><p>Later, the realization that their first and last kisses happened on the same day keeps Goro awake well into the early hours of the morning, his fingers tracing his lips thoughtfully.</p><p>Tomorrow it all ends. 
How...awful. </p><p> </p><p>Akira sighs in the interrogation room, his body aching and his head swimming.</p><p>He'd known, but it still sucks. Yesterday had been so nice, that he'd nearly ignored the reality.</p><p>It doesn't end here. Goro may think it does, but it won't.</p><p>He thinks back to hours before, when he'd snuck in another kiss in the casino. Hoping it'd change the detective's mind from what was coming, maybe, though he knew Goro had no other choice. 
Cherishing the surprise and what he thinks was a surge of love in those eyes before he'd walked away, to continue their mission that was, in Goro's mind, ultimately set to fail.</p><p>His soulmate, the one he loves despite every warning sign, is on his way to do something terrible.</p><p>Unless something goes wrong though, today won't be their last day.</p><p>It can't be.</p><p> </p><p>Goro walks in, kills the guard with no second thought, ignoring the uncertainty and shift he'd felt moments before. Must be nerves, and he's too far gone for that.</p><p>Wonders how long until Akira says the words.</p><p>Akira, bruised and bloodied, stares at him with eyes dark and knowing, but what does he know? Does he feel betrayed? Hurt? Angry?</p><p>Goro wants to reach out and touch him, to nurse him back to health, to kill anyone who's ever even considered laying a hand on Akira. How dare anyone else touch him, he thinks furiously, biting his cheek as he struggles not to comfort him.</p><p>Akira watches him silently.<br/>
Does he know Goro is stuck on a path he cannot stray from, otherwise right now, this very moment, he would?</p><p>He lifts his arm again, points the gun. His hand shakes slightly, and a minute or so passes in silence. Why isn't Akira speaking? </p><p>Gray eyes blink at him, but his soulmate remains silent. Goro wants to throttle him, now. He spouts off something about justice and endings, a bitter smile on his features, trying to goad the bruised and bloodied boy.
Say the fucking words!</p><p>He hesitates again, finger slipping from the trigger as Akira stares at him blankly.<br/>
Is this it? Is this all? What the <i> fuck is he playing at?!</i> </p><p> </p><p>And its time, this is all he can manage and he can't stall anymore before its gone on too long, and he's hit with the realization:</p><p>this isn't real, and therefore this isn't truly the end, because Akira hasn't said the damn words, the words he knows now are undeniably the last words Akira will ever say to him.
Akira has managed to pull one over on him, and therefore on Shido, and its kind of funny, really. Of course the other half of his soul couldn't be bested so easily. </p><p>Resolute, he readjusts the barrel against the (fake, fake, its all fucking fake!) forehead covered by dark bangs and pulls the trigger.</p><p> </p><p>They meet again in Shido's palace, where Akechi shows his true persona.<br/>
Loki.<br/>
Joker doesn't hesitate, in fact he seems to smile at him, cocky as always, and he feels elated.</p><p>"He's mine." Joker commands the group, forcing them back, and Akechi smirks in appreciation of that, the claim, hearing that voice again.</p><p>That's right. He's his, and they both know it, but perhaps today is the day and Joker, no... Akira, will say the words, and what then?<br/>
He has to live whatever the remainder of his life will be without him for real this time? He'll continue until Shido dies, and he probably will barely make it past that, but even then it's too much time to spend alone now that he knows he doesn't have to be. How very frightening.</p><p> </p><p>Except then its over and he realizes in terror that its his time to die, and Joker hasn't said the goddamn words, and Goro is afterall just a frightened and lost boy.</p><p>Shido used him and will cast him away by his own cognition and Akira hasn't said the damn words! It can't end here! Did Akira's words change? Did he give up on him?<br/>
Fearfully, he glances back, meets those dark eyes one more time, terrified and saddened by the fear and regret there, but Akira doesn't speak, too horrorstricken, a hand gloved in red outstretched.</p><p>Then he's alone with a pathetic version of himself.</p><p>Shots ring out.</p><p> </p><p>Its Christmas Eve.</p><p>Akira is so damn <i> tired.</i><br/>
I wanted to keep my promise, and I didn't... I let him down, he thinks again, mournfully.</p><p>The glove burns a hole in his pocket, where he's taken to carrying it around daily like some kind of talisman.</p><p>A constant reminder of his failure.</p><p>Sae is speaking to him, but its all white noise, and he wants to care so badly but he just can't.</p><p>He misses Akechi so much it hurts.<br/>
It doesn't feel right, or fair. </p><p>Where is the justice in life, anyway? Did it die with his soulmate? They could've gotten past all of it, he's sure.</p><p>They could've healed together. He would've stood by Goro through it all. The team would've understood eventually, they feel bad for him too, and he'd confided his heartbreak in them recently so he didn't have to bare it alone.<br/>
Maybe even if they didn't come around, that'd have been fine. They don't have to blindly follow him, he'd have been completely okay to disagree with them if he had to...</p><p>Sae is still talking. He nods here and there, barely registering.</p><p> </p><p>A voice breaks through the haze and it sends sparks up his spine, pulls his mind out of its haze and awakens everything in him.</p><p>Turning, he sees Goro's face, a small smirk playing on his lips before he walks off with Sae.</p><p>Akira's hand is still outstretched to him after they're long gone, a motion he hadn't even realized he'd taken until after, but now he feels alive again.</p><p>January rolls around and everything changes.<br/>
Goro could see this as a fresh start. Another chance for them.</p><p>He knows that's how Maruki intends it, and the doctor expects them to be grateful, or maybe he doesn't even want thanks. Maybe he really is a good person, and he won't ask for gratitude.</p><p>Well good, because Goro wouldn't give it.<br/>
He'll take the extra time, and he'll be glad to finally tell Akira he loves him, but he shouldn't be here.</p><p>It isn't right.</p><p>He won't be controlled. Shido did that long enough, and he was ready to accept whatever happened as long as Shido went down in flames.</p><p>He doesn't want this.</p><p>Or maybe he does, but not like this.</p><p>Stepping into Leblanc, he feels the energy shift and change in the room as soon as Akira looks up and sees him.</p><p>Akira jumps up and crosses the space immediately, wrapping his arms firmly around Goro, who's suddenly trembling.<br/>
"You've noticed too?" He breathes into black hair, determined not to lose his focus.</p><p>Akira hums in his throat, and Goro can feel it against his shoulder, a reminder that they're here and alive. Akira knows too. Truly his equal.</p><p>"Yes. I've known the whole time...that something isn't right. But...you're here. That's all I wanted. That means more than the rest of it." comes the answer in that deep voice he loves so much, and suddenly he's overcome with affection and a surge of love.</p><p>Goro is speechless for the first time ever.</p><p>He's never mattered more than anything to anybody. He'd assumed...</p><p>He'd assumed Akira would be fine.</p><p>Akira had wanted him, after everything?<br/>
"I think I'd like to kiss you now." Akira mumbles after a minute or five of silence, and Goro chuckles.<br/>
"You'd better."</p><p> </p><p>"You know that I can't live in this false world." </p><p>Akira sighs. This again? They have this conversation at least twice a day.<br/>
"You could. We...we could be happy here."<br/>
"I will not be controlled like some puppet!" Goro shouts.</p><p>This isn't the first and it won't be the last time they've discussed this. </p><p>Its the end of January, and they don't have much time left before they confront Maruki.<br/>
Gray eyes bore into red, seeing his soul.<br/>
"I know how you feel, Goro. I do. But this...this is a happy life. Don't you deserve that?"<br/>
Goro scoffs. "I can't be happy under someone's thumb. Shido did that to me already. I won't live like that. It isn't a life."</p><p>"What about OUR life. The life we could have?!" Akira demands, hurt now. He understands, he does. He knows Goro Akechi inside and out, and he wants to do the right thing too, to do right by Goro and Sumire and all of his friends, who his heart breaks for because they never deserved any of the terrible things they've suffered, but almost more than all of that he wants to be greedy just this once. Just once.<br/>
Goro stalks off. He can't answer that, he can't show weakness and give in now, no matter how a small, frail part of him wishes he could.</p><p> </p><p>It's February 2nd, and he's just so fucking angry, and he wants Akira, the thief who put a bullet in a gods head, to stop thinking so small, to just <i> fucking listen,</i> and-<br/>
"Are you really so spineless that you'd fold over some bullshit, trivial threat on my life-"</p><p>Oh no.</p><p>"This isn't trivial!" Akira screams, his voice cracking as his fists ball up and tears begin streaming down his face, and Goro panics.</p><p>Fuck<br/>
No no no <i>no-</i></p><p>He runs, and if Akira chases him, he doesn't notice or stop.
If he stops he'll give in.
Goro's eyes are brimming and spilling over, his lungs aching and the lump in his throat threatening to choke him.

Akira will do whatever he has to.</p><p>February rolls into March, the days streaming past all too quickly, marking the end of his time in Tokyo, and before he knows it, it's time for Akira to board the train home.</p><p>His friends have hardly left his side the entire time.<br/>
Akira isn't sure if it's more because they'll miss him or because they're worried about him in the fallout of...Everything after they beat Maruki, but the gesture is appreciated nonetheless.</p><p>It's going to be hard to leave. 
A year ago he didn't feel like he belonged and was a little afraid, and now he dreads returning to the place he was before. Being the leader was exhausting sometimes, and by the end of it he was tired of making the hard decisions, but now he'll miss it. It gave him a sense of purpose.

</p><p>
Tokyo has been one of the best things to happen to him, despite everything. Part of him wonders how it'd feel if he never had to leave, if he'd accepted Maruki's offer after all, but he could never do that to Goro. </p><p> Even if part of him almost wishes he had.<br/>
Maruki shows up to give him a lift, Sumire finds him at the station to say farewell, and he's on the train now, suddenly, like time just couldn't wait to force him out.</p><p>Morgana climbs out of his bag on the opposite seat, staring intently at him.</p><p>"So, how do you feel?" The cat asks, tail swishing.</p><p>Akira sighs.<br/>
"I really... I hoped he was gonna come back."<br/>
Morgana blinks. "Has your- is your mark still there?" he asks carefully, seeming anxious to even ask.<br/>
Akira grimaces.</p><p>See, that's the thing.<br/>
If your soulmate dies, your mark is supposed to scar over and fade eventually. Akira had said the words on Goro's wrist to him, and that should be that, as much as it hurts him to think about.<br/>
It should be that way.
But the words on Akira's wrist are still dark as ever.</p><p> </p><p>He wants to believe that logically, that must mean Goro is out there somewhere, he has to be, and he just...</p><p>
  <i> Didn't come back to him. </i>
</p><p>And if that's the case, well,</p><p>Goro made his choice. It sucks to think that, but Goro's made it clear before that no one gets to make decisions for him, and Akira's not quite sure he's in the right to force anything.</p><p>No matter how much a small part of him, especially these last two weeks, was desperate to find his soulmate and at least... </p><p>Shaking his head, Akira sighs and shrugs towards Morgana, who's watching him spiral silently.</p><p>Leaning his head against the window, Akira stares listlessly at the busy station, so crowded and wild and unlike his hometown, until his train departs.</p><p>An hour or so later, he snaps out of daydreaming at another station as he swears, out of the corner of his eye, that he sees an all too familiar blazer and gloved hand pass outside his window walking alongside the train.</p><p>"Goro...?" he whispers, grateful that Morgana has dozed off and can't hear him whispering to thin air like the clearly out of his mind person he must be.</p><p>Obviously the man, if he's even real and not just a figment of Akira's imagination, can't hear him out in the station through the window. The person disappears before Akira can get a good look, and the train doors are closing now.</p><p>Another sigh. It would have...it would have been too good to be true, apparently.</p><p>The train has left the station behind and Akira is fighting off tears, taking a deep breath to steady his fragile mindset.
He can't let himself constantly dwell, Goro wouldn't like seeing him like this, he can practically hear the way he'd sounded last time he saw him, how he'd tell him off- </p><p>"This seat taken?" An incredibly familiar voice asks smoothly, and Akira's breath catches as he whips around so fast his neck aches.</p><p>Goro Akechi smiles down at him, red eyes betraying the anxiety on the otherwise happy face. </p><p> </p><p>Gray eyes are staring at him like they cannot fathom what they're seeing, and the thief's jaw has dropped slightly in shock.<br/>
Goro decides to sit in the seat next to a sleeping Morgana regardless, even more anxious now than when he'd seen the train rolling in, knowing it was now or never.</p><p>Akira would have every right to be angry with him, he knows.</p><p>He'd woken up a couple of days after their fight with Maruki, and been convinced it was all still some sick joke, and his first thought had been to run straight to Akira's side to find out. </p><p>Instead, he'd done something terrifying: he'd  checked himself into a familiar childhood haunt:</p><p>The rehab his mother had been a patient at when he was younger. </p><p>Akira listens to this, to Goro regaling how they took him in no questions asked, how hard it had been to open up and accept help and allow himself to be vulnerable, and how after just a month's worth of therapy how he'd felt at least marginally safe living outside again, with a contingency plan:</p><p>"I knew you were leaving today and I wouldn't have another chance so I um. I found a therapist to keep up with...in Inaba. If you're alright with me going with you, in any case." Goro finishes softly, embarrassed and ears pink.</p><p>Akira laughs, more out of relief than anything.</p><p>"I thought I'd never see you again." is the first thing he manages to say, his heart thundering in his ears.<br/>
Goro's face closes off. 
"I apologize, I shouldn't have-" Goro goes to stand and flee, and instead he feels a hand clasp his wrist, yanking him back down into the seat next to Akira instead of across from him. </p><p>"Don't. Don't do that. I'm not mad, I don't want you to leave, I just...This feels like a dream." </p><p>"Or a nightmare?" Goro tries to joke morbidly, tone sharper than he intended. <br/>Akira chuckles. "Not at all. More like its too good to be true? I- uh- My soulmark never faded, so I didn't wanna give up hope..." Akira murmurs, a slight bit of color rising to his cheeks at the admission.</p><p>Goro feels a deep sense of relief at that, at the confirmation of what he already <i> hoped wished practically fucking begged the universe for </i> and replies, lightly, "My initial one did fade, to my-" <i>panic fear dread-</i>"concern. I assume because that part of my life is over...But I have new words, now. So I believe that means-"</p><p>"Can I see?" Akira cuts him off in a teasing voice, reaching for his arm, and Goro smacks his hand away with a smirk.<br/>
"Absolutely not, joker. You got me once, you don't get to gain the upper hand again now." </p><p>Akira laughs and stares at that razor sharp smile, the warm eyes accompanying it, at the face he loves so goddamn much. While he has so many more questions, he doesn't worry for the first time in months.</p><p>"By the way, Akira..." Goro says softly an hour or so later, as the train leaves the city behind and countryside rolls in, taking off his glove to grasp the hand closest in his own, "I love you."</p><p>A head full of dark curls turns and gray eyes regard him warmly, practically upturned with joy, and Akira squeezes his fingers and leans over to press a soft kiss to the corner of Goro's mouth.<br/>
"I love you too. Duh."
He laughs as Goro scoffs at him, betrayed by his own smile. </p><p> </p><p>There are so many more things to say, he knows even as he curls into Goro's side, smiling as he feels the weight of his head resting against his hair. There's so much growth and help they're both gonna need, so many wounds they'll have to reopen before they can truly heal.</p><p>
But this is where he's supposed to be.

Going home doesn't seem so bad now.</p>
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